and 



BULLSHIT.
This is what started it all.


     I knew it! I was a little kid and I knew this show was stupid. I totally called it. If only I could have known about all the stupid-ass shows that they would spawn. Especially (insert name of any reality TV show here), man does that show crave the penis. It even remotely reminds me of Enrique Iglasias or Yani Gellman (See The Lizzie McGuire Movie review for an example of how sucky this is).

    Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that, like many of our laws today have come to be, in order for these shows to keep popping up it means that someone is watching the sorry excuse for cheap entertainment. So, for the rest of us that are too busy waiting for something interesting come on, say, The Dead Zone, here are a couple of less painful things you can do to pass the time.

  1. Run around in a thunderstorm with an antenna duct taped to your head.
  2. Jump off of a ten story (or higher) building.
  3. Peel duct tape off of your legs. Slowly.
  4. Light your left arm on fire.
  5. Place your right foot inside of a bear trap and apply slight pressure.
  6. Watch The View. <-- JUST AS BAD IF NOT WORSE
  7. Decorate the yard with Garden Gnomes.
  8. Walk on hot coals.
  9. Sacrifice yourself in an African rain dance to the gods.
  10. See how long it takes for you to pass out with a pillow on your face.
  11. Eat at Burger King.
  12. Eat at Taco Bell.
  13. Shoot yourself out of a cannon, like that cool guy in the circus.
  14. Hell, join the circus.
  15. Give your mother-in-law a call.
  16. Let an alligator bite your dick.
  17. Drive your truck/car/crotch-rocket/van/mobile home off the still-in-progress Escambia River bridge.
  18. Confess your love for that bitch on The Weakest Link.
  19. Pet a Doberman. They don't bite, they've always got blood on their lips.
  20. Ride in a car with a woman driver.
  21. Watch a Richard Simmons workout video.
  22. Go get anal raped. (Most of you want it anyway.)
  23. Go to church.
  24. Have a conversation with a stupid person. (Just about the same thing as watching The Real World.)
  25. Attend a North Carolinian Church Camp.



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