THERE ARE NO FUCKING PARKING SPACES.
I attend the University of No Parking Spaces for me. Why? It's because of the "gay-as-piss" (quote Derek Talbott) parking regulations. As you can see from the picture above, out of all 5 colors, I am entitled to park in ONE of those colors. Let it be known that the white parking spaces are the least abundant on campus, in fact, they are practically non existent. I think what truly pisses me off is the fact that the students that live on campus get all the good parking spaces. This makes no sense to me... because most of the people on campus can walk to all their classes. I, on the other hand, drive 11 miles everyday only to get to my classroom's parking lot to find no place for me. I end up parking across the street or something. It gets worse. Then we have the little fucking rent-a-cops (no offense Kegels). These are the student bitches that walk around and make sure you are parked in your designated parking area... and if you aren't, you get a ticket. They always look so cocky and happy, and they travel in groups playing grab ass. Congratulations, asshole, you just pissed off everyone on campus. Go take your College Algebra and P.E. 101 and go be a HERO! Jackass. When you go running into toppling, flaming buildings, then we'll talk. Solution? Get rid of the color-coded parking. First come, first to screw other people out of a parking space. Only the handicapped should be given special rights, and that's a stretch. Handicap people always bitch about wanting to be treated no differently, but god forbid we take away their coveted parking spots. You all know I'm right.  How did I overlook this in the brochure? |